Step one: Twirl your hair in one hand until you become an animal with
horns (not antlers).
Step two: Do animal things. Do not let the other animals know you are
not an animal.
Step three: After the animals trust you fully, sneak into their
bedrooms while they are off doing animal things & read their
diaries. Copy down everything that surprises you.
Step four: Return to the world of men. Publish the things you’ve copied
from the animals’ diaries under your name. The animals will never know.
Step five: Grow increasingly dissatisfied with the world of men.