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Twirlsy Horn

Step one: Twirl your hair in one hand until you become an animal with horns (not antlers).

Step two: Do animal things. Do not let the other animals know you are not an animal.

Step three: After the animals trust you fully, sneak into their bedrooms while they are off doing animal things & read their diaries. Copy down everything that surprises you.

Step four: Return to the world of men. Publish the things you’ve copied from the animals’ diaries under your name. The animals will never know.

Step five: Grow increasingly dissatisfied with the world of men.